Sisterhood

According to Microsoft Word’s dictionary, “Sisterhood” means 1. Solidarity among women: the empathy and loyalty that women feel for other women who have shared goals, experiences, or viewpoints. 2. Women’s groups 3. Status as a sister 4. A community of nuns. (For the intention of this narrative, we can ignore the fourth definition. Honestly, I just think it’s funny.)

“Definition” has come to have a new meaning since one of the lectures I had in Political Science 195a. In this particular meeting, I was listening to a discussion how to define abstract constructs. The Professor went over indicators of Democracy and freedom and other such broad concepts one might be interested in studying. She assigned homework in which I had to come up with indicators for any political construct of my choice. I chose pre-adolescent delinquency. When I got my homework back I realized how much more thorough and detail oriented I need to be when defining an idea.

This lesson, however, has played out into my daily life. Lately I have been struggling with the aforementioned definition of sisterhood. What in actuality does sisterhood mean, and how can you measure it? Further more, what good is it to know that “sisterhood” means solidarity of women? I have learned absolutely nothing from that definition.

I am still struggling to define it. Actually, as of yet, I have not been able to come up with a single measurable indicator of sisterhood. Sadly to say, I can report that I have realized my personal expectations of what sisterhood should feel like and mean are unreasonable. I have also come to realize that what I expected sisterhood to feel like and mean were not indicators which would be useful in measuring sisterhood.

Reading over this for the 15th time, it pains me that the state I now find myself in allows for me to discuss something as theoretically wonderful as sisterhood, without any emotion. Last night I spent at easily 4 hours crying over the loss of something I can’t even define. Now, I see the way to maneuver through the end of the semester, and potentially the rest of my college career, without being attached or emotionally involved in something I used to hold dear.

If certain events had not transpired, I could see myself feeling like a traitor to the ideals, values and morals of sisterhood. I, however, have realized that you can’t be a traitor to something that has no definition. I can’t betray something that other people don’t understand.

At this point the only person I can betray is myself.

I realized last night that I am my only responsibility and at this point I have to do only what will enable me to survive and succeed.