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Currently, my house is going through our slate process. I have been slated for three executive board positions. The following is my essay that was due when I had my interview.



Recently, I had an eye opening experience. I had a glimpse into the life of one of my sisters, who I see to be the epitome of sisterhood and who I hold in the highest of regards. This semester has been quite hard for Delta Zeta; we have gone through a lot in a very short amount of time, we have experienced the failure to communicate as well as the pain that is caused by gossip. What I experienced has given me a different perception of our house and the women who make it.

Every initiated member of Delta Zeta was in some way responsible for the mess we created this semester. We, myself included, have been guilty of gossiping, creating dissent, and in general adding fuel to the fire of unrest, dissatisfaction, and cliquishness that had arisen within our house. We all played a role in this and a great majority of the distrust and gossip grew from the fear of, and failure to, confront and connect with sisters.

My recent experience made me realize how close and, at the same time, how distant we really are. I believe the general tension that our house experienced this semester was normal, and in some ways healthy. Personally, I only express my frustration when I am comfortable and when I know that I am in a safe environment. This does not justify any wrong actions I may have made; it is a fault in my character, which I am working to resolve. However, it did show me how safe I truly feel here and with my sisters.

Women within our house have acted catty and cruel towards one another this semester. This behavior has created division between the different groups in our house. Since sisterhood retreat, I do believe that the overall feeling of the house has lightened a bit. I still feel that there is a lot of work to be done before our house is healed and we are all able to forgive each other for our malicious, shallow and selfish behavior. I believe that this change has to start with our executive board. This semester it has felt as though the executive board is separated from the rest of the house. I know that some feel as though they are one of the many cliques, separated by power and socioeconomic status as well as their relationship with certain alumni.

The incoming executive board needs to be able to stay connected with the members of the house. I am not saying that this separation solely rests on the shoulders of our current executive board. This is just one way that our entire house has failed to act like sisters. It is just as much of my responsibility to connect with my executive board, as it is theirs to connect with me.

This sense of separation does not end with our executive board. Our entire house has become divided into cliques. We have separated ourselves into the small groups we connect with best. In general, that is not a terrible thing; it is important to have a close relationship with a select few and it is a given that with 50 plus sisters we will only have an intimate relationship with a few over the course of our time in Delta Zeta. However, it is extremely important that we are able to form relationships with everyone in Delta Zeta; that we may truly be members of a sisterhood.

I believe the problem we find ourselves facing is that no one wants to make the first move. We all seem to believe that we have been wronged or hurt by another and it is therefore someone else’s responsibility to act first. This, I believe, is the underlying issue our house is facing. If we could all stop acting so hurt, then we could move forward and start healing our house.

There is one particular sister who I have always believed hated me, or even worse, was completely indifferent to my existence. It has been my personal goal to connect with her this semester. By no means, have we become close and I doubt she has noticed any difference in my behavior, yet I do feel that in the pursuit of my goal, we have become more connected and I finally feel as though if I needed her she would be someone I could turn to.

If I could implement any program into Delta Zeta next semester, it would be creating goals such as mine for every sister. We all have women we are distant with, the purpose of this would not be to make a new best friend, but would be to break down the barriers which keep us from experiencing sisterhood. If we could each pick one sister we are angry with, were hurt by, or just do not know, and make the effort to reach out to her over the semester, I believe it would change the dynamics of our house.

This process should begin during recruitment school and I would recommend that this be added to the duties of our executive board. If it were plausible, I would have members of the executive board meet with individual women and come up with personal goals for the semester. The executive board would then become a support system and provide our house with a safe avenue to create these new relationships. It would definitely be a process of trial and error to get this program to work; however, in the end I think it would drastically affect the overall moral of our house.

People project their fears and insecurities onto others and assume that those feelings belong to them. Our house is full of this behavior. The only way to stop it is to make an effort to connect with one another.

Last night, I had a glimpse into another sister’s life and I realized how wrong about her I had been. I still hold her up as the example by which all sorority women should live by and the embodiment of why I wanted to join a sorority, but I also realized that she is human, fragile, strong, and beautiful in ways I had never imagined before. She let me see into the most painful area of her life. At that moment, I realized that every woman in this house has experienced things that no one else could ever understand, but I also realized that we fail to make the effort to get to know each other on that intimate of a level. Even though we may not see it, these same powerful and amazing qualities are present within each woman in our house. Our house will only survive if every member makes a concerted effort to find these qualities within themselves and each other. This doesn’t require that we all know each other’s life stories, but that we find the humanity within one another.